It had to be written

There’s a scene where Jay Pritchett explodes after holding the grief in for decades, and it just steals that episode of Modern Family.

If you have a dead parent, you would’ve known exactly what he felt at that time, and maybe because Ed had a dead parent at that time, knew the feeling, and acted so emotionally, so originally.

Others, were probably just scared of that feeling, the unknown that comes with all of that.

And that is the first fear we acknowledge in this world — having a dead parent.

We live with that fear, we fear for that day, and we grieve forever after!

It Will Happen

Look, some day we will lose a parent, and that is probably the best thing that could happen to him or her, because losing a child would be a thousand times more difficult.

Probably life-shattering, and maybe this is the only thing that you could say to a kid who lost a parent.

I spent too much time worrying about losing any of my parents, and then one day, out of nowhere, my dad was gone!

In a minute!

Now, this is another thing people say to make you feel better in the saddest moments of your life — a quick death sometimes is better than spending years in agony!

And what about those that spend years in the agony? It’s still better than being killed in an accident or gone in a moment.

So, after every death, there’s another death that is far worse than the one that you witnessed!

But, none of this works!

Empathy Is Worthless

You can feel bad for some one that has lost a parent, a child, a partner, a family member, a friend. You can try to feel their pain, help them, be there for them, hug them, kiss them, make food for them, iron their clothes, be a clown to make them laugh, their driver, their nurse, everything!

And that eases the pain a lot!

Unimaginably a lot!

Only one thing can help more than any of this, and that is listening to them, understanding them, and never, never trying to minimize, relativize their pain!

Let them speak, let them flow that grief out albeit by their tears, their words, and even their laughs!

Yes, laughing, talking about the memories is good, helpful, fulfilling. It makes you feel that they were here, they were happy, and you were that source of happiness!

But, you can’t feel the death of a family member, of a friend, unless you’ve lost someone!

And no, losing an uncle, a grandma, the best-friend, isn’t the same as losing a parent!

Everyone has its place in your life, and when you lose a parent, your life loses an arm and a leg!

The Forever After

The pain is there, but it gets easier!

The first year is the toughest, because you are living every day of the year for the first time without them.

The second year gets easier, you already are adapted to the new way of life. You still remember, and day after day you still feel the pain.

And then you start to forget the pain!

All you remember are the memories, and you feel more love, missing love, missing a person, than the pain, the grief!

The worst thing is that your life will always feel incomplete!

There will be people that come, and fill your days and life with everything, love, care, friendship, and this will help a lot. More than you can imagine.

But, you will always feel that void, and that’s okay.

It’s life, and we’ll live like this until one day, we become that dead parent, dead friend, dead family member, and all the love we gave to the people around us will hurt every one, and they will mourn us for some time.

And then, after that, we’ll remain a nice memory for them, because we were the people who made their lives better, happier, easier, just like they made our life.

Death will come, one day or another, one way or another.

Worrying about it is the worst way we can waste our precious time.

Instead, creating the memories that will help us and others when death do us part is the best weapon we have against death!